we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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