I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
