Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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