ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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