Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
