It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dear god my vagina.
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