Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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