If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
