Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
