You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I will be naked everywhere
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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