I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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