We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
COCAINE IS GR8
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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