The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize