We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
