She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
