Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
