I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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