I don't think brook has ever known best
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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