That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
