Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
