your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
