I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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