He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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