she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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