wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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