What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
