Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
