I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
