There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
