you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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