You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
