She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
