Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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