So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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