I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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