Just cropdusted the office
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My liver just had a heart attack.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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