his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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