therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
