Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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