I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
