You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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