how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
