Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
