Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
