Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
