i just snorted my name. best moment ever
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
