I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize