Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
