He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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