The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
