Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
