Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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