Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
