So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
